Coming To Terms
by Feilyn
Summary: The Winter War is over, but the aftermath has only just begun. As people start to rebuild their lives, can two people help each other find themselves again? IshiHime, part of the Lost And Found series
1. Chapter 1

Valentines Day

_Jeez, this series just keeps growing! And I never actually intended to write an IshiHime for L&F, but the amazing __**Philyra**__ requested IshiHIme, and I left it for a while (months) and then today it bunnied me!_

_Okay, so this is a multi-chapter installment of the Lost And Found series. It is the first, chronologically, and as such has no real spoilers._

_A note on __**Truth or Dare**__ – I've not stopped writing this. It's just that Philyra designed Momo's bankai and Shuuhei's entire zanpakuto for me and she _deserves_ to get her fic asap._

_So, Philyra, this is for you. You're unbelievably fantastic, as a reader, writer and bankai designer! I hope this is what you wanted!_

xXx

The Winter War (which had lasted considerably longer than a winter) had been won, presumably by the right side, but it wasn't over yet. A great deal of Karakura had been destroyed in the process and before it could be returned to its proper dimension, it had to be rebuilt. Those who couldn't be ordered into helping out had been bullied or guilted and as a result the restoration was going smoothly.

Except for today. Valentine's Day. In light of the holiday, all work on Karakura Town had halted as the shinigami and their various associates took a break.

Unlike most single people, Uryū didn't see much point in hating Valentine's Day. Instead, he found it rather amusing to watch Kurosaki shuffle uncomfortably in his seat as a large number of smiling, chatting female shinigami came blushing up to him and thrust chocolate in his face. Being the good friend he was, Uryū carefully noted down the name of each girl so Kurosaki could pay them back in kind on White Day.

Rukia, far from being outraged at the fact that other females were giving her lover chocolate, was in fact sitting next to the substitute shinigami and as each new gift was presented she took the previous one from the desk and tucked it into an already bulging backpack.

Uryū didn't think he'd ever understand those two. He was certain, however, that he didn't want to.

"Uryū-kun?"

It took most of the Quincy's self control not to jump at the unexpected sound of Orihime's voice. He still wasn't used to her using his first name and was nowhere near ready enough to call the girl by hers.

"Y-yes, Inoue-san?" he stuttered, pushing up his glasses. The flash of light always set him at ease.

She pouted at him and his heart nearly stopped. "I thought I asked you to call me Orihime?" She frowned absently. "Or did I forget?"

That was something she'd been oddly insistent about once the fighting had stopped and she had destroyed the Hōgyoku. Uryū had noticed that she tended to forget her name if people stopped using it. Despite this, he had not yet managed to work himself up to calling her Orihime anywhere but in his head yet. It was too…intimate.

"Ah, no! No you didn't forget, I just…" he trailed off and sighed. "Never mind. What was it that you wanted?"

She flashed the thousand-watt grin at him and he had to remind himself to breathe.

"To give you this, Uryū-kun!" She held out a large package. It was then he noticed the sack slung over her back. No doubt she had enough home-made chocolate in there for all her acquaintances. Uryū took savage pleasure in the fact that his package was bigger than Kurosaki's.

"Thank you, Inoue-san."

She frowned at him. "It's _Orihime_."

Thankfully he was saved from having to reply to that by Hinamori Momo appearing out of nowhere, cheeks flushed like she'd been running.

"Orihime-san! Rangiku has come out of her room!"

Uryū saw the disbelief flicker faintly behind Orihime's warm eyes before the girl clasped her hands to her chest, face suffused with hope. "Really? Is she all right?"

He had to look away. The ridiculous tight feeling in his chest eased a little, but not much.

"Well…she's still pretending like nothing's wrong, but—"

"Orihime-chaaaan!"

Matsumoto Rangiku, who hadn't been seen in public in the sixth months since Uryū had taken down the last Espada, bounced into view. Her face was a little drawn, eyes a little dull but the most shocking change had to be her hair – previously waist length, she'd chopped it so it just brushed her shoulders.

"Rangiku-san!" Orihime cried and the two women crashed into each other. Uryū took advantage of the girl's distraction to slip away outside, taking his chocolate with him.

"You sure handled that well."

Uryū jumped about a foot in the air. His excuse this time was that _everyone_ had been jumpy since the war, but he didn't bother saying it aloud – Yoruichi wouldn't have believed him anyway.

The woman, in her cat form, jumped down from the tree branch she'd been perched on to balance on his shoulder.

"Hello, Yoruichi-san," he greeted her flatly,

"Jeez tone it down a little would you? Your enthusiasm is embarrassing," she dead-panned. "Scratch my chin."

He obliged, knowing he risked his eyeballs being clawed out if he didn't. "Was there any reason you were spying on us, Yoruichi-san, or were you just bored?" he enquired.

She yawned, and he shied away from her breath. "Was it a private event?"

"Well – no, not really."

"Then I wasn't spying. Walk that way – I need to visit Kisuke."

He sighed, but obeyed nonetheless.

"Anyway, I heard that Rangiku was up and about and figured she'd hunt down Orihime sooner or later. Seeing as that girl's almost always near _you_ in one way or another, I thought I'd pay a visit. You're quite good at hiding your feelings you know."

Uryū choked on air, something he'd seen Kurosaki do frequently but hadn't fully experienced for himself. He probably could have done without it. "I'm sure I don't know," he managed to gasp out.

Yoruichi's tail thumped his back once or twice as she chuckled unsympathetically. "I'm still a spy, Uryū, regardless of whether or not I was spying. You're good at hiding the way you feel, but not _that_ good."

"I really don't—"

"Uryū, shut up. I'm not stupid and, all evidence to the contrary, neither is Orihime."

"I was never under the impression that Inoue-san was stupid," he replied stiffly.

"Of course not. You're in love with the girl and love is blind."

"I'm _not—_"

"Tell me you didn't feel like your world was falling apart when you heard Orihime had been kidnapped. Tell me that you wouldn't – that you _didn't_, nearly – give your life for hers, and then maybe I'll believe you." She licked a paw, balancing precariously. "Hmm, no reply? Why am I not surprised?"

It was his deepest secret, and the only one he couldn't hide from. He lived, _breathed_ his love for Inoue Orihime. Yoruichi was quite right when she'd said he'd nearly died for her.

Orihime had been one of the vital keys to the war effort. While Kurosaki had battled Aizen, Urahara stole the Hōgyoku. The ragged remains of the Hueco Mundo rescue crew, near-broken by the death of Renji at Ichimaru's hands, had formed up to protect Orihime as she rejected the very existence of the Hōgyoku.

Ichimaru died. Tousen died. _Aizen_ died, and still the war raged on regardless until, three weeks after Orihime had commenced the destruction of the Hōgyoku, Ulquiorra broke through.

The Fourth Espada was exhausted, but so was everyone else. Uryū had been the only one to see him prepare to give the killing strike and there had been no thought as he leapt in front of Orihime, taking the hit and just barely managing to return his own. Bare moments later, the Hōgyoku ceased to exist and the war…fell apart.

Orihime had berated him mercilessly even as she healed him. He _had_ forgotten about her shield, which would have been able to sustain one hit at least before disintegrating, giving him the time to strike back without risking death.

Uryū had stayed silent throughout the lecture, terrified that if he opened his mouth, the truth would spill out.

_It would have been worth it to protect you._

"Oi! Uryū! Quite daydreaming!"

He blinked, and promptly blushed, quite suddenly remembering where he was and what he was doing. Yoruichi head-butted his cheek, purring in amusement.

"You're an idiot, you know that?"

He probably was, but he sure as hell _wasn't_ going to admit that to Yoruichi.

"Yoruichi-san…" He coughed, embarrassed. Mortified, even. "Could you not…could you not inform Inoue-san of my…feelings?"

The cat-woman chuckled, leaping off his shoulder. "She already knows, Uryū."

xXx

_Heh. Evil place to leave it, I know, but I have to go to bed. I'm expecting four chapters for this? Five? Although, knowing the way my estimates usually turn out, it'll probably be longer._

_No, actually, I think I'll manage to stick with that. There are only a few events that I want to go over here, and this one's not so much about getting the two together as it is what happens because of it._

_Anyway. I hope you enjoyed!_


	2. Chapter 2

_It's 12.30 in the morning. I've been writing this for the past five hours or so. I'm tired, and I forgot to write my usual author's notes at the beginning of this chapter. I'm still tired. So, uh, insert something witty here or, uh, something…_

_Enjoy?_

xXx

Uryū was pacing. He didn't like pacing, but he was doing it nonetheless, because if he didn't pace he'd have to think and he _really _didn't want to think at that moment.

He was well aware of the fact that pacing was generally considered a thinking motion by most people, but Uryū wasn't most people, and concentrating on placing one foot in front of the other, the sharp turn after a meticulously counted number of steps, had a ridiculous calming effect on him.

"Uryū-kun?"

To say that he jumped about a foot in the air would be a lie.

It really was closer to two.

"I-Inoue?" he stuttered, forgetting in his shock to add the '-san'. He flushed, embarrassed, as she giggled.

The giggle cut itself off as she frowned at him.

"It's Orihime," she reminded him softly.

"U-uh…yes." He bowed his head, not wanted to see the disappointment in her eyes when he didn't say it. He still had no idea why she insisted on the use of her first name and doubted he'd ever find out.

_She already knows, Uryū. She already knows, Uryū. She already knows, Uryū._

He could feel the flush deepen and inwardly cursed his pale complexion. He had to look like a particularly mottled tomato. Ishida Uryū wasn't made for falling in love.

"Uryū-kun?" The concern in her voice was overwhelming. "Are you okay?" A soft hand touched his cheek and he flinched away. It was entirely inadvertent, but he caught the hurt look on her face before he awkwardly turned away.

"Uryū-kun?"

"I…uh, it's just a sore stomach," he covered lamely.

"Oh, okay." Her voice picked up some and he gave a small sigh of relief. "Do you want me to heal it?"

"Inoue!" he exclaimed, turning back and forgetting the '-san' again. "Don't be ridiculous. It's entirely unnecessary."

She huffed at him, and to his utmost shock, glared. "It's _Orihime_."

His eyes widened at the total uncharacteristic tone to her voice. The girl herself looked a little surprised, but there was a determined set to her jaw.

"I – I'm really sick of you calling me Inoue-san!" The words came out in one forceful breath. "It's like you're trying to hold me at arms length all the time and I don't want that – I don't want any of my nakama to drift away now, especially not—" She cut herself off and abruptly deflated, biting her lip. "I don't know why you're trying to push me away, Uryū," she said finally.

Uryū's stomach was in his throat and his heart had dropped to his knees. Or was it the other way around? "I'm not – I don't—"

He fell silent. She _knew_. If Yoruichi was right and she knew, why she was acting like—

Was he pushing her away? Afraid of…afraid of _something_, was that what he had been doing?

It wasn't like they'd spent all that much time together before the war. Not, at least, time together _alone_.

Of course, that hadn't stopped Uryū from falling in love with her.

And during the war…

There had been nothing during the war. _Nothing._ It was mere existence – no time to stop and talk, or even to stop and think. No time to stop. No time. If he was honest with himself, he hadn't entirely moved out of that state of being; once you got used to it, it wasn't so unpleasant.

And now it was after the war and he didn't know what to do.

A tap on his shoulder knocked him out of his thoughts. Orihime was blinking up at him, wearing a worried frown. "Uryū? Are you all right?"

His name. He hadn't noticed it before, but he definitely did now. She'd dropped the suffix and with it any hope he'd ever had of _not _hoping.

"Fine," he choked out. "Uh…that stomach ache, you know?"

It was so obviously a lie, even she noticed it. Her face tightened in a way that Inoue Orihime's face should never have to tighten and she turned her back on him.

"Are you coming tonight?" she asked, almost absently, as she walked away from Uryū's crumbling heart.

"Coming where?" He even managed to say it in a somewhat level tone of voice. Maybe it had something to do with the fact that her eyes weren't boring massive holes into his soul.

"The party tonight," she said softly, pausing in her inexorable walk away from him. "In celebration of the fact that we're still here." She hesitated and for the life of him, Uryū's poor abused brain couldn't tell why. "In celebration of the fact that we've made it this far."

_And how far, exactly, is that?_

xXx

It wasn't in Orihime's nature to despair. All right, so there had been a few times there before the war, especially during her sojourn in Hueco Mundo, but she'd never entirely lost hope. If nothing else, she had to cling desperately to it for her friends and comrades sake.

The point was, even though her heart was breaking into itty-bitty pieces for approximately the eleventh time in her life, she was smiling widely as she worked her way through the crowds of shinigami (and associates) that were meandering around Karakura Town on their day off.

A rich voice interrupted her hidden misery. "I've seen better, but still. That's not a bad attempt."

"E-eh?" Orihime jumped in surprise, although not as high as Uryū had done before. _Uryū Uryū Uryū. _Her mind chanted the name incessantly. "Rangiku-san!"

The older woman pushed herself off the wall she'd been leaning against, blonde hair fluttering at her shoulders. Orihime had been horrified when she'd seen it so short, but she could understand why Rangiku had done it. Her own hair was only just starting to grow back into a decent length.

"Orihime-chan, don't call me that," the vice-captain laughed, throwing an arm around the girl's shoulder. "Makes me feel old."

"Hai, Rangiku," she agreed, although felt a little uncomfortable about it. Despite the older woman being almost like a sister to her, Orihime still liked to have that little barrier of formality; however, she couldn't request that everyone (_UryūUryūUryū_) use her first name and be horribly hypocritical in not returning the favour.

Rangiku flicked her on the forehead and Orihime went briefly cross-eyed. "Don't think about it so hard," the woman chided, steering the girl into the room she'd spent six months in without leaving. "Now, what's with this fake smile you're wearing?"

The thing about Matsumoto Rangiku, Orihime mused as she froze halfway into sitting down, was that she avoided her own troubles by solving other people's problems.

Rangiku started to laugh as she switched on the kettle. "That's one spaced-out look on your face, Orihime-chan, but I suppose I should be glad it's not that awful smile. Sit down properly, love."

"It wasn't awful!" she protested, obeying nonetheless. "W-was it?" She was trying _so _hard to be happy.

"Not to anyone else, I suppose, but I'm an expert." Rangiku winked, but there was something hollow about it. "Come on, tell me – what's got you so down you feel you need to be covering it up, hmm? Love troubles? Is it Kurosaki again?"

Orihime flushed, remembering that night almost two years ago where she'd spilled her guts to this woman who somehow managed to make everyone around her feel better. Even after they'd shared their deepest secrets and darkest horrors.

It seemed so long ago now, with the war and the deaths behind them. It was over, and yet Orihime couldn't find it in herself to move on.

"No, it's not Ichigo," she said softly, knotting her fingers around each other as Rangiku poured two cups of green tea before sitting down. Briefly she wondered what would happen if she twisted them so far that they could never become undone. Maybe she would have to— "I don't…I mean, I'm not in love with him anymore."

It had taken a ridiculously long time for her to be able to say that, even though she'd fallen out of love with the substitute shinigami during the war. In fact, she'd wondered for a while if she had developed some sort of allergy to the words.

Rangiku looked at her thoughtfully. "I already figured that out back—" The woman cut herself off and swallowed slightly. "Back then. I was just wondering if you had." She leaned back in her chair, crystal eyes narrowing. "So it's not Ichigo, then. But it is love?"

Orihime opened her mouth, but no sound came out. She frowned, trying to make herself speak only to find that she had no words.

The blonde chuckled, and it sounded a little sad. Orihime wanted so badly for Rangiku to not be sad, but no one ever knew what was wrong. Sometimes she wondered if Rangiku knew.

"Uryū-kun," she finally managed to say. "It's Uryū."

"Oh, good, so you know that too." The woman started to laugh again at Orihime's confused look. "Honestly, Orihime-chan, it's fairly obvious. In fact, the only one who doesn't seem to know is the boy himself."

"I know," she said softly. "I know how he feels. I don't know _how_ I know. But I thought for so long that he loved Rukia-chan and then he nearly killed himself for me in the war and I just…I suddenly _realised_ it was me. All along. And I…I don't know if I'm in love with him, but I know that I like him. A lot."

Rangiku was frowning. "Waitwaitwait. You say you know how he feels."

Orihime nodded.

"And you say that you feel something back for him."

"Yes."

"So why the hell haven't you _done_ anything about it?" the woman exclaimed.

This wasn't the part where Orihime hesitated and realised that what Rangiku said made perfect sense and that she should hunt down Uryū immediately and throw herself at him. She'd thought about doing that several times, of course, but she knew it wasn't right.

It wasn't right.

"Surely you're not waiting for him to do something, Orihime-chan? Because I can tell you right now, Ishida Uryū's really _not_ the type of person to—"

"I know," she interrupted softly.

Rangiku cut herself off.

"I do like him. I like him so much. But…sometimes that's not enough. A lot of the times that's not enough, really. Even if I knew for sure that he loved me and I loved him, it wouldn't be enough."

Rangiku sighed. "Orihime-chan. You are right, but—"

"No, I'm not finished." She looked down at her hands, fingers still absently twisting. "The war…broke…us. Everyone. You can lie awake at night here and hear the echoes of screaming around the town. And Rukia and Ichigo will always have each other, and Tatsuki and Chad have each other and Renji's _dead_ and…" And she _hated_ the way these conversations ended in tears and the war was _over_ but still so, so close. "And even I have you to talk to, and there's Momo who's trying so hard and Ikkaku-san and Yumichika-kun trying to hold their Division together and…and Uryū can't even say my name." The tears fell into her mug of tea. "Everyone's pulling closer together and he's moving away. I can't…I can't _be_ with someone who's so closed off and cold, Rangiku, no matter how much I like them. I just _can't_."

There was silence for a long time as Orihime struggled to stop crying and in the back of her mind hoped that, despite everything she'd been through, Rangiku would make it all okay again.

Finally, the older woman sighed. "The war's not over, Orihime."

Her head jerked up. "Wh—"

"The fighting's stopped, but the war's not over. It doesn't – the scars don't fade just because the wounds are healed. The screams of the dying don't just go away because they're dead now." There was a harsh quality to Rangiku's voice that Orihime had never heard before. Then the woman sighed again and shook her head, hair brushing her shoulders. She leaned across the table and clasped Orihime's hands in hers. "Uryū's still in that place, Orihime. He might pretend at being over what happened, but that's because he's stuck in it more than you or Ichigo or Rukia. He won't use your name because he's still living with the fear that he's going to lose you any day now. He probably doesn't even realise it."

"So what do I do?" Orihime cried, distraught. "Do I try to help him get out of it? Do I just…wait?"

"You could do that," Rangiku admitted. "Cajole him along. Sit around and wait until he's ready." She drew away from the girl and took another sip of her tea. "Or you could give him a reason to want to come out of it right now."

xXx

_Jeez. Two days and I write 500 words, then all of a sudden the extra 1500 come barrelling outta nowhere and keep me up until half past twelve writing them._

_I'm undecided as to whether I'll write a chapter of Reset or Truth Or Dare next, but rest assured whatever I decide I'll get started on it tomorrow._


	3. Chapter 3

_laptop is back. v. late, sorry for short note. Hi!_

xXx

"Oi, Orihime."

The girl blinked in surprise at hearing Kurosaki Ichigo's voice. "Ichigo? I thought you would be spending the day with Rukia?"

He fell into step with her. "She's with Byakuya. Guy suffered a relapse or something. Severe reiatsu depletion, I think she said." The familiar Kurosaki scowl settled onto his face. "The idiot _knew_ he wasn't meant to use any kidou until his reiatsu stabilized and then he goes and does it anyway?" He shook his head. "Stubborn prick."

Orihime cocked her head. "You really like him, huh?"

"Che." He looked at his feet as they walked through the town. "He's worrying Rukia, y'know? And he's blaming himself for Renji's death just like everyone who isn't blaming themselves for someone else's death." A pause. "But yeah. He's not a half bad guy once you get past all that nobility crap."

Orihime noted the bitter twist to Ichigo's mouth. _Renji-kun…_

He'd been protecting her, before Ichimaru tried to break through. It was funny, how everyone thought it would be someone like Rangiku or Toushirou who took him on eventually, someone with a personal vendetta against him. But it wasn't like that in war. Renji was strong, he was powerful but most importantly, he had been _there _when Kuchiki Byakuya fell. There hadn't been any time to call in the vengeance seekers.

"You coming to the party tonight?" Ichigo asked.

Orihime brightened, mind skipping instantly from thoughts of Renji to the celebration that night. "Of course! I've been making cranes for decorations."

He gave her a smile, one of those soft ones that would have made her heart race if she'd still been in love with him. As it was, she was just glad that he was still able to do it. "Yeah, I saw them. Who's helping?"

She blinked. "Helping? No one, why?"

He choked. "But there's gotta be at least a thousand of 'em!"

"Nine hundred and fifty six," she corrected. "I wanted to make a thousand for everyone coming so they could all get a wish, but there wasn't enough time. Maybe we can all have one big wish instead?"

The smile disappeared and Orihime's heart ached a little. She knew Ichigo, and she knew that he had guilt issues bigger than even Kuchiki Byakuya's. She wanted so badly to help him, but it wasn't really the sort of thing that she could heal.

She'd tried, of course, but even Inoue Orihime couldn't make like a war had never happened. Her powers required her to believe that what she was doing was possible, and war was beyond belief. That particular stunt had earned her a whole week in the infirmary.

She hadn't attempted again. The war had affected her just as it had affected everyone else, although she thought she wore it lighter than others. She knew when to stop trying now.

"You give everyone their wish, Orihime, and there'll be a lot of ghosts hanging 'round tonight," Ichigo said softly, looking up at the sky.

She frowned, thinking about that for a bit before she hit on the answer. "But you're shinigami. You can exorcise the ghosts!"

He gave her another smile, only this one was pretty weird looking. "Not that kind of ghost, Orihime."

She looked up at the sky with him. "Ichigo-kun is being weird. There are no other types of ghosts." She sighed. The sky was empty, even to her. "Only memories."

"Think you'll forget?"

Orihime frowned, confused. "Who wants to?"

xXx

"All right, you're pissing me off."

Uryuu looked up from his pacing.

Yeah, he was pacing again.

"Matsumoto-san?"

"It's Rangiku." The woman scowled and Uryuu had a horrific sense of déjà vu. "And you're pissing me off," she repeated.

"I'm sorry?" She had him so surprised, he'd stopped pacing. Unlike the rest of his group, he hadn't grown close to the vice-captain during the war. Then again, he hadn't grown close to anyone.

She poked him in the chest. "_You're_ in love with Orihime."

He choked, a small part of his mind wondering if this was how he would meet his end. Live through a war only to choke and die after repeatedly having people spring their knowledge of his love on him.

Matsumoto didn't give him a chance to respond. "And you're hurting her. I don't like seeing my friends get hurt. I've watched you refuse to do anything about it, and her refuse to do anything about it, and I thought that you would be to stubborn or stupid to be pushed into anything so I go and talk to _her_, and what does she do? Refuse! She's going to _wait_ for you, Ishida."

He thought about interrupting here, but realized Matsumoto was on a roll and that it would be a very, very bad idea to try and stop her.

"Honestly, what the hell are you kids thinking about these days? You think that because you've come through a war you know everything about love and loss? Really, it's ridiculous."

"If my losses were not quite as great as your own, Matsumoto-san, you'll forgive me for thinking them no less painful," he said softly.

She stared at him blankly for a moment before her eyes softened. "Ah, crap. You mean you really _are_ still stuck back in the war? Jeez, I just said that so Orihime wouldn't give up on you."

The conversation wasn't making any more sense just because it had taken a more serious tone. Orihime wouldn't give up on him about _what_?

"Who died?" she asked quietly.

"I'm sorry?" he repeated, shocked.

"I've been out of the loop since the war died down, Ishida, and I sure as hell wasn't concentrating on the deaths during it. Enough to worry about keeping people alive and--" She broke off and swallowed, hard, before shaking her head. "Heh. Looks like you're not the only one with leftover issues, kid. So tell me. Who died?"

His jaw clenched involuntarily and he looked away. There was a reason he'd refused to be close to this woman. He'd noticed the quality she had that made people want to share their problems, and wanted no part in that.

Ishida Uryuu did not share his problems. Ishida Uryuu did not _have_ problems.

"Fine." She shrugged elegantly. "Be a coward. Don't tell me."

"You hid in a room for six months. Don't lecture me on cowardice." He pushed up his glasses, taking comfort once again in the familiar flash.

She looked past him at something he couldn't see. "Being in that room, Ishida, who did I hurt? Sure, I worried a few people. A lot of people. But I didn't hurt anyone, because I was working through my issues. You, on the other hand, are killing Orihime. She's _waiting _for you, Ishida."

"Inoue is in love with Kurosaki," he replied quietly.

Her eyes snapped back to him and she sighed. "If you can't see the truth, Ishida, you don't deserve her."

He didn't reply, choosing instead to leave without saying goodbye. It was rude, he knew, but he pretended not to care.

__

I don't deserve her anyway.

xXx

"Chad! Tatsuki-chan!" Orihime paused to catch her breath before continuing her run towards the two, seated on the riverbank. "What are you two doing out here, hmm?"

"Orihime!" Without Tatsuki having to ask, Chad silently assisted Tatsuki in standing. It had been eight months since the loss of her arm from the elbow down, but she still hadn't gotten used to the change in balance it had caused her. "What are _you _doing out here by yourself? There are still rogue Hollow out here, you know."

Orihime huffed. "I _can_ protect myself, Tatsuki-chan." She very carefully avoided any mention of the difficulties Tatsuki had doing the same. "Anyway, you didn't answer my question." She clasped her hands behind her back and leaned forward. "Are you two on a _date?_"

Her best friend attempted to wrestle her whole arm away from Chad as soon as the words were said, but he didn't let go.

"You'll fall over." he said quietly.

Tatsuki scowled. "We're not on a date, Orihime. It's not like that. But if we're gonna talk about dates, have you seen Ishida?"

She blinked in surprise, then laughed. Nervous. "Uryuu-kun? Not since this afternoon, why?"

Tatsuki rolled her eyes. "Because something's got you wired. You're even more all over the place than usual."

"Hmm? Oh no, I'm just excited about the party. Are you coming?"

"Che. Parties aren't really my scene, and there's not much difference between Chad and a chair when it comes to social skills."

"B-but it's for--"

"Orihime." Tatsuki's voice was gentle, but brooked no argument. "I'm sorry, but I really don't have all that much to celebrate, all right?"

Everyone felt guilty about something these days, and this was one of the biggies for Orihime. She was famed for bringing back the dead, destroying the Hougyoku and generally being a hero, but she couldn't even bring back her best friend's arm. Unlike Grimmjaw Jaggerjack's arm, which had been entirely destroyed, Tatsuki's had been left to rot. As such, it had forgotten the basic structure of being an arm, and if Orihime tried to heal it she risked Tatsuki being horrifically deformed. Even if she had been able to get around that, though, Tatsuki's own body had put up barriers as well. So in tune had she been with herself, physically, the other girl could still almost feel the missing limb. Because her body thought the arm was still there, Orihime could not reject it _not_ being there.

But there was something else to Tatsuki's tone. Something deeper than a missing limb, although Orihime was certain she hadn't known anyone personally who died in the war. Well, except for Renji, but even then they hadn't been close.

__

Renji-kun…

Orihime shook her head and slapped herself across the face. "Okay! That's all right! I have to go and make some more cranes for the decorations now, all right? If you change your mind, just come along anyway, okay?"

"It's not gonna happen, but I'll keep it in mind. I'll see ya later, 'Hime." Tatsuki kicked Chad in the shin. "Oi! Say goodbye, you freakin' heffalump."

He blinked down at the irritable girl who was clinging to his shoulder for balance, before turning back to Orihime. "Goodbye," he said, quietly.

Orihime beamed as she walked away. It was nice to know _someone's _love life was headed in a positive direction.


	4. Chapter 4

_Hello! I missed you! I'm sorry for taking so long to update, but here we go with chapter 4! I'm thinking that either the next chapter or the chapter after will be the last one. Depends on how it goes._

_Right, the important thing about Tatsuki here is that she is one of the people most changed by the war. I would go so far as to say that she was changed even more than Rangiku. So, uh, I hope I'm not wildly off with this chapter because I know her story and you don't. But I really enjoyed writing this one, and I hope you enjoy reading it just as much._

xXx

Tatsuki was _pissed off_.

"_Him_," she snarled, spotting Ishida Uryuu on the steps outside his father's hospital.

Next to her, Chad sighed, tightening his grip on her arm. It didn't _hurt_, but she wasn't getting away any time soon.

She turned her face up to glare at him. "I can walk on my own. Let me go."

"You're going to yell at him," he said simply.

"Chad, he _deserves_ yelling at right now," she insisted, stomping her foot. "Let me go!"

"Why?"

The glare morphed into a frown. "Why does he deserve yelling at, or why do I want you to let me go?"

He didn't say anything, but she'd spent enough time around him recently to be able to tell what he meant.

"He's hurting Orihime. This means that I get to yell at him whenever I want to, and nobody can stop me. It's the unwritten rule of best-friendship."

Chad sighed again and bent at the knees. Before she'd even begun to realise what he was doing, he'd picked her up and tossed her over his shoulder.

"Hey, what - Chad! Yasutora Sado, put me down right now before I kick your ass from here to Hueco Mundo!" She pounded on his back with her one good arm, not bothering to hold on for balance. She knew he wouldn't drop her.

More was the pity. Chad kept walking.

Eventually she gave up, digging her elbow into his back and resting her chin on her hand. "You suck as a guide, you know that? You're meant to take me the places I want to go, not the opposite direction."

"You were going to yell at him."

It was her turn to sigh. "Why do you have such a problem with me yelling at him, Chad?"

There was a short silence, the one that mean he was thinking about how best to word it. "Everyone wants to protect Orihime," he said finally.

"And?"

Another silence. This time, he wanted her to reach her own conclusion.

Tatsuki kicked him in the gut and bruised her toe. "Ow, crap. _Fine, _I'll think about it." She closed her eyes and thought about the inflection in his words, the slow rumble of his voice. Reluctantly, she came to the conclusion he'd meant her to get. "Who's protecting Ishida, right?"

"Orihime can look after herself," Chad agreed, and once again the way he said it made Tatsuki's mind whirl with possibilities.

"Don't take this away from me as well, Chad," she asked quietly. Asked, because she certainly wasn't begging. "I protect Orihime. It's what I do. I've lost enough in this war. I'm asking you to not take this away from me as well." She worked very carefully at keeping her voice steady. Admitting so much, even to Chad, was enough of a weakness without her tone betraying her.

_Che. Idiot._

_Look who's talking!_ She almost said it aloud before she realised there was no one to say it to.

"God_damn_," she muttered under her breath as Chad came to a halt and set her down on the ground again.

He looked at her carefully from beneath his fringe. "Don't hurt him too much," he said eventually.

She rolled her eyes, hearing his unspoken words loud and clear.

_Don't hurt yourself, either._

"If you've come to tell me I'm a coward, I already know," Ishida drawled as she stormed lopsidedly towards him. He was seated on the steps outside the hospital and didn't look like he had any intention of moving, even for one-armed death.

_Crack!_ His head snapped back as her fist ploughed into his cheek. Chad, of course, caught her before she overbalanced and set her upright again. She was so used to this by now that she barely even noticed it.

"Well that was a different approach," Ishida remarked, wiping the back of his hand across his mouth and blinking down at the blood there. Losing one arm hadn't made the other any less powerful.

The other teen carefully pulled out a handkerchief and Tatsuki watched in disbelief as he carefully dabbed at his wounded lip. It was like she was suddenly faced with a totally different Ishida Uryuu.

"Aren't you going to start, then?" he asked, looking vaguely surprised.

"I'm trying to decide whether or not you're worth bothering with," she snapped. Unfortunately, she rather ruined the insult by laying into him with the next breath. "What the hell is your problem? Are you touched in the head? Orihime loves you! And you love her!"

"So I've been told," he murmured.

"Then why are you _hurting _her like this?" Tatsuki demanded.

"Has no one thought," Ishida said idly. "That I'd be hurting her more otherwise?"

Silence.

Tatsuki stared, utterly floored.

_Crack!_

"You stupid prick." Her voice, she noted absently, wasn't quite a hiss. More of a steady, calm-icy-cold that screamed instant death. Behind her, she felt Chad shift slightly.

_I will restrain you if I have to._

She kicked him in the shin.

"You stupid _prick_," she repeated. "You know, I never got what Orihime saw in you, and now I _really_ don't get it. 'I'll hurt her more'," she mimicked. "_How?_ How could you possibly hurt her more than tearing her heart out and stamping on it a few times for good measure, hmm? Explain this to me!"

Well, she got points for starting _off_ slow and quiet, surely?

Ishida looked at the ground, cracking slightly. So he did care. "Broken goods are of no use to anybody," he mumbled.

Tatsuki froze completely, before realising that he wasn't referring to her. Slowly, her muscles relaxed, although she twitched at the phantom feeling of her left hand unclenching.

_Heh. Stupid._

_God damn it, I know that._

Tatsuki was falling apart. Had been falling apart for the past ten months, even, and she knew it. She knew she was an idiot, she knew she was stupid for letting herself break into itty bitty pieces like this, but she couldn't help it. She couldn't stop it, and she hated that.

Hated herself, really.

"Broken goods." She seemed to be repeating a lot of things. Perhaps Ishida's stupidity was contagious.

Tatsuki hadn't been prepared for war. Not for the screaming, not for the hurting. Certainly not for the dying. Unlike her friends, she'd never been close to death, never haunted by any ghosts of her own until--

"And what is it, exactly, that makes you broken goods, Ishida?" she asked bitterly. Something else she knew already, what Ishida had lost. At that moment she couldn't find it in herself to care.

A light touch to her shoulder. Chad. "Tatsuki."

"What have you lost," she bulldozed on. She wanted to push him, prod him, have him show some sort of reaction. She wanted to prove that she was still good for something. "that has left you torn into pathetic, bit-sized pieces? What have you lost that has turned you into this pathetic excuse for a human? Quincy pride my--"

A flash of fire in those blue eyes and she was cut off as he surged to his feet, hands clenched and glasses flashing. "Do not," he spat between clenched teeth. "talk to me of Quincy pride."

"Tatsuki."

Chad spoke again, but Tatsuki ignored him. She was on a roll now and nothing was going to stop her. "Why not? Don't you have any of it left? Not guts to maybe take a _chance_, risk your own neck for once!"

That, she knew, was below the belt. Once again, she didn't care.

"Risk _my _neck? I died for Orihime!"

"Oh, you knew she'd bring you back." Okay, so no he _hadn't_, but whatever.

Ishida had paled even further with rage. "You speak to me of loss. What do _you_ know, Arisawa? You lost your arm? An appendage, something that you could grow used to in time--"

White-hot rage surged in Tatsuki's veins and she lunged at Ishida only to be yanked back as Chad grabbed her around the waist. She ignored it, straining against the hold and screaming as it all broke lose. "An appendage? An _appendage?_" she shrieked. "You - you have no idea what I've lost! Your father died? You _hated_ him! And now you sit here and dress it up as mourning when all it is, is guilt! He died to save you and you _know_ you don't give a damn, you _know _you don't love him or his memory or _anything_ to do with him! You even had the chance to say goodbye and you didn't take it!"

This was rage and pain and _grief_ like she'd never felt it before and if she'd had the presence of mind to stop it, she would have done so in a heartbeat. Arisawa Tatsuki was the strong one. Arisa Tatsuki didn't need anyone' help. Arisawa Tatsuki certainly didn't fall apart for any passer-by to gawk at.

"Tatsuki. It's not his fault."

And just like that - just _like_ that - it all turned off. The roiling feeling in her gut drained away and left her a shell as Chad's arms shifted and became more like an embrace than a restraint.

It wasn't Ishida's fault. In fact, it had nothing to do with Ishida. Sure, he was being an arsehole to her best friend, but that didn't make his grief any less real than hers.

She was crying, she realised. Tears, slipping silently down her cheeks with more dignity than anything she'd displayed just then. In front of her, Ishida stood, shell-shocked.

"I didn't even get to say goodbye," she whispered pathetically. Somewhere in Karakura Town, the shingami were celebrating. "I didn't even get to say goodbye to him, because some Hollow was chewing on my fucking arm. He just had to show off. He just had to - had to prove it, once and for all. That _idiot_."

"I - I don't.." Ishida stuttered.

Tatsuki shook her head and turned, burying her face in Chad's chest. "Don't make her wait, Ishida. Don't leave it until it's too late. Because when that final door shuts, you have no idea how much it's going to hurt."

She allowed Chad to pick her up this time, knowing she'd be useless at walking anyway. There wasn't much more she could do to embarrass herself at that point in time anyway.

"I wish you'd stopped me," she breathed as they left a dazed Ishida behind them.

Chad said nothing, but she heard him loud and clear anyway.

_It needed to happen_.

"Why?" Her eyes slipped shut. Emotional exhaustion gave way to physical.

"Too much."

"Inside?"

"Hmm."

Her eyes fluttered once before closing definitely.

"I'd rather there was nothing."

xXx

_:coughs: Uh, did somebody request fluff? Sorry Philyra…_

_Tatsuki will be getting her own chapter fic to explain this, but I'm sure you can guess, lol._

_This part was actually important, as you'll see next chapter. Out of all the kicks up the ass Uryuu has received, this is by far the biggest. Something about having a one-armed tomboy come after you like a freaking harpy, I'd imagine._


	5. End

_I realised suddenly that if I wanted to get started on Ozymandias on top of all my other fics, at least one had to be completed. Then I watched the movie P.S I Love You and got so ridiculously inspired that I just had to finish CTT._

_So! I really, really enjoyed writing this chapter. Before I leave you to read this story, I just have to remind you of the epicness of __**Philyra**__, who has in fact signed up to design all the of the zanpakuto for the Naruto characters in Ozymandias. Philyra, you're an angel and I hope this is everything you wanted._

xXx

There was only one place in Karakura Town big enough to hold the multitudes of shingami and their drunken partying, and Uryuu wasn't sure if he wanted to go there.

This…was far too many events to have happened in a single day. Just that morning he had been happily mocking Kurosaki as he struggled with some of the more irritating consequences of becoming a hero. Now, he was wandering the streets of a ghost town while the shingami (and a vaizard or two) celebrated _life_ in the basement of Urahara Shouten.

He snorted aloud, not worrying about anyone hearing him. Even if they hadn't been floating in a different dimension, Uryuu had never been one for caring about what other people thought of him.

_Oh, so is that the reason you're ignoring everyone calling you an idiot?_

Uryuu scowled. If there was one person he'd always been able to count on, it was himself, but now it seemed like even the avenue of self-pity was closed to him.

He shook his head and sat down on the curb, listening to Arisawa's voice play over in his mind. _When that door finally shuts, you have no idea how much it's going to hurt_.

What door? _What _door? No one had told him there was a time limit on this sort of thing. He hadn't been aware that it was a race. Yet somehow everyone was convinced that he had to run to Orihime and declare his every lasting love _right that instant_ otherwise everything would fall apart.

Why did all these people want him to be with her anyway? They all insisted he was an idiot in some way, and he wouldn't have been surprised to find that Arisawa hated him after what he'd said. Was it some obscure need to tie up loose ends that had these people pushing him towards the woman he loved? His scowl softened to a frown as he tried to figure it out.

It was as he sat there under the darkening sky that realised he'd never actually thought this thing through before. He had been relying on feelings, and Uryuu had never been one to take stock of feelings. Here he was, not even sure how to properly identify them, and basing all of his judgements on them? No wonder everyone was yelling at him.

First and foremost, Uryuu was an observer. He liked to watch things progress before he made a rational decision based on all the facts.

Orihime took that away from him.

Around her, he lost the cornerstone of his being and didn't care. He stopped _thinking_, but when he was with her that hardly mattered, because she was there to fall back on. When she wasn't there, however, he had to rely on his emotions. And, as he had just re-established to himself, Uryuu was no good with emotions.

This problem was like a tangled knot of…of _life_, made up of so many different threads that Uryuu didn't know which one to start unravelling first. There was no logic to this stupid feeling, even when he tried to logically sort through it.

_So start at the beginning_.

He sighed and closed his eyes in an effort to concentrate better. When he'd first started seeing Orihime in a different light, he'd assumed it was a crush. After all, he'd been fifteen at the time and intellectually, he knew that such things didn't last. Small comfort, as he watched her fall for the oblivious Kurosaki, who not only couldn't tell when someone was in love with him, but had no idea when he was in love himself.

Now, almost two years later, he was seventeen and jaded, lost in memories of a war that never should have happened. During the fighting, he'd been stupid enough to let go of that feeling, let the thread grow and wrap around his heart until it was indistinguishable from his very being. Of course, he hadn't been given a choice - all thought and energy had been directed at the war, concentrated on simply surviving, on making it through to the next day. In war, you clung to existence or you ceased to exist. So he'd allowed the crush to develop into this _love_ because it reassured him that his fingers were still scrabbling at the edge. He was still holding on.

But the urgency of war was over now, and he was left with this feeling that he didn't understand and was too afraid to examine properly to get a better--

Uryuu's eyes snapped open and he stared widely, blindly, at the deserted road in front of him as he ran that sentence over in his mind again.

In the war feelings hadn't mattered, so whatever developed could be faced without fear because there were more important things to be concentrating on.

But the war was over now.

The war was _over _now.

He jerked to his feet, eyes skating around his surroundings. Somehow, he'd ended up outside the Kurosaki Clinic which meant he had to go right if he wanted to get to Urahara Shouten. He started to run, inwardly berating himself for being so _stupid_. He'd had people yelling it at him all day, and now he had good reason to believe it.

Yoruichi had said he was an idiot. Arisawa had called him all sorts of things. But it was what Matsumoto had said that was ringing in his ears now.

_Coward._

"Broken goods are of no use to anyone," he mocked himself out loud. Good lord. He was so melodramatic, he was turning into _Asano. _"No wonder she hit me."

The street lamps flickered on as the sky darkened. It was an eerie experience, running through the streets of his home town without the familiar sounds of neighbours chatting, dogs barking and Hollow shrieking.

He squinted ahead, hand twitching out of reflex as a shadow approached him at a run. It was, however, vaguely human shaped with no extraneous bits of bone that he could see, so he relaxed. It moved a little closer, and he came to an abrupt halt.

"Hey, Uryuu-kun," Orihime greeted him pleasantly, jogging up and down on the spot. "Have you seen Uryuu-kun? I was just wondering where - oh."

Thinking and acting, it turned out, were two entirely different things.

"I - uh…" He blinked rapidly , trying desperately to think of something to say. "Hello?"

She giggled a little, presumably at the imbecilic look on his face. "I was looking for you, Uryuu-kun. Are you not coming to the party?"

He shifted uncomfortably. "Um. Well…" He paused and tried again. "No."

"Oh." Orihime clasped her hands behind her back and fell into step with him. "So why were you running in that direction them? You're not being chased, are you?" She threw a worried look over her shoulder.

"I - no, I'm not being chased. I was…I was looking for you."

His breath caught pathetically as she looked cautiously up at him from beneath her lashes. "Me?" She laughed. "Why would you be looking for me?"

Uryuu swallowed, hard, heart in his throat. Thoughts. Definitely easier than actions. "Would you - would you walk with me, Orihime? There are some things I would like to speak of with you."

For one heart-wrenchingly awful moment he thought he'd done something wrong as she came to an abrupt halt and stared, wide-eyed.

"O-Orihime?" he stuttered, uncertain, and was nearly blinded by the brilliant smile that crossed her lips.

"You called me Orihime," she said softly, small hand reaching up to touch his check. Uryuu nearly stopped breathing. "Thank you."

Unable to speak, he nodded. The hand dropped, and they continued walking.

"What did you want to talk to me about, Uryuu-kun? Seeing as we're already walking."

Fear swamped him, but he tried to struggle through it nonetheless. "I…Orihime," he croaked. "Orihime." Surprisingly, saying her named helped him calm down a little. A little. "I wanted to - I wanted to say--"

The hand was on his cheek again, and then Uryuu's mind blanked out as Orihime stood on tiptoe and brushed her lips lightly, lightly against his. It could hardly be termed a kiss, but that didn't stop his heart nearly beating itself out of his chest.

Her mouth curled briefly against his before she dropped back to her feet. Her hand, however, remained briefly on his cheek before returning to it's former place behind her back, clasping the other.

Uryuu stood stock-still, afraid that if he moved, he'd wake up. Orihime, who was carefully studying the ground, glanced shyly at him from the corner of her eye and started to giggle.

His affronted pride granted him the ability to speak again. "What's so funny?"

She giggled again. "Uryuu-kun looks like a fish," she declared, pulling a face.

He stared at her before the inanity of that look affected him and he laughed, startled.

Orihime spoke again before he got a chance too. "Uryuu-kun…do you mind if I speak first?"

Uryuu wasn't sure if he'd be able to get the words out even if he could remember what he had meant to say. "Of course, Orihime."

She shot him another smile, presumably at the use of her name, before starting walk again. Stumbling a little, he fell into step.

"When I was in Hueco Mundo," she started. "Ulquoirra and Grimmjow only ever called me 'woman'." Her nose wrinkled and Uryuu's hands twitched involuntarily. "And when people call you things, it's hard to remember what you were called before, you know? And then Aizen would use my name, but when he said it, it became his. It wasn't my name anymore, it belonged to him, and I didn't want to belong to him."

Uryuu wasn't entirely sure where this was going, but he had the feeling that a killing rage wouldn't be appreciated, so he thrust down the hot-boiling emotion.

"So when you all came for me and the war really started, I asked you all to call me Orihime. Mostly everyone was too hurried and worried and scared to remember to be formal anyway, but Uryuu-kun never listened." She cocked her head to the side, regarding the road ahead. "Or maybe you did."

"Orihime--"

"Shush." He blinked, but fell silent. "After the war, I wanted to tell Uryuu-kun how I felt about him." She gave him another one of those sidelong looks before turning her face forward again. "But you still wouldn't call me by my name, and I wondered for a while if Uryuu-kun didn't like me. Then I realised I was being silly, because Uryuu-kun died to save me. So I thought about it some more before I figured out that Uryuu-kun was scared."

He winced, but didn't say anything. What did you say to the truth?

"_So_, I decided that when Uryuu-kun was brave enough to use my name, I would be brave enough to tell him how I feel." Orihime stopped walking again and turned to look expectantly at him.

"And…how do you feel, Orihime?" he asked quietly, finding it difficult to speak past the heart in his throat.

She frowned, looking confused. "I kissed you," she pointed out.

"Well, yes," he spluttered. "But that could mean--"

A small fist wrapped in the front of his shirt and pulled him down. Orihime looked him straight in the eye before removing his glasses and kissing him full on the mouth. No mere brushing of lips, this.

As kissing went, it probably could have been better, but Uryuu could honestly say that he didn't give a damn. He could deal with the awkward bumping of noses if it meant his arms could drift down her sides and anchor at her waist, holding her. He could live with the slightly uncomfortable clacking of teeth if it meant that her hands would stay secured behind his neck and twined in his hair.

Hell, he could even live with it ending if it meant that he could keep the memory safe forever.

"I love you," he blurted as she pulled away, looking about as dazed as he felt. "I - you were right, I was afraid. The war, and - and _feelings_ - and I really didn't know what to do about it all and I thought you'd be better off without me. I'm sorry. I was scared. I love you."

She smiled at him, face still ridiculously close. His hands were still at her hips and hers were still cradling his head. Reaching up on one leg, she kissed him on the nose before replacing his glasses and smiling wider.

"I love you too," Orihime announced, letting go of him all at once and twirling slightly around in a circle. "I love you…like I love red bean paste."

He raised his eyebrows and smiled a little himself. "Oh?"

"Yep." She grabbed his hand. "What do you love me like?"

There was no adequate comparison.

"I love you like I love Orihime," he told her.

She pouted, and it still had the ability to stop his heart. "That's not _fun_. C'mon! Think of something interesting."

"All right." He decided to humour her. "I love you…like I love annoying Kurosaki."

She gasped, delighted, and threw her arms around him. "You _do_ love me!"

xXx

The next day Uryuu handed over a list of meticulously printed names - the women who had given the substitute chocolate - to Kurosaki and smirked, watching as his friend spluttered in rage while Rukia laughed herself sick.

Perched on his knee, Orihime beamed.

xXx

_Right! Well! I do you all enjoyed, and there's aother part of the L&F series, done! I'll be able to concentrate on ToD a little more, and when that's done we come back in the past to where it all began - __**cricketchick1990**__'s ten chapter IchiRuki, which will not only come closer to their relationship than we've seen in the series so far, but will also detail the fact about the L&F Winter War._

_Thanks for reading!_


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